That is probably not the right terminology. What I mean is. . .
This year, rather than make an illogical list of things that I will begin doing for the year 2014 (because we all know all that leads to is disappointment and guilt by mid-February) I have instead decided to make a list of things I will stop doing.
I am dedicating this post to Dr. Richard Brewer. My Psychology professor, academic advisor, life counselor, and dear friend—who told me almost weekly throughout my four years at university that I was “shooting [myself] in the foot.” Thank you, Dr. Brewer, for helping me to realize that I am, in fact, my own worst enemy.
1. I am going to stop pretending I belong in the corporate world, or can sleep at night knowing I work (though at the bottom of the totem pole) for a corporate company.
I don’t. Not even as a barista. One of my co-workers told me I told belong there.
He was right.
2. I am going to stop pretending that online dating is a good idea.
It isn’t. Not now and not ever. What started out as a joke and endless entertainment between a couple girlfriends and I has turned into: ‘Karen’ finding a serious boyfriend, ‘Jane’ finding endless idiots and resolving to move back to the east coast. . . and me, swearing off dating entirely. Forever.
3. I am going to stop making excuses.
I am reallllllly good at it. I have an excuse for everything under the sun. I’m not sure where I learned this talent, but it is quite a horrible one to have. I don’t play piano anymore because I have stage fright. I haven’t written in some time because my computer broke. I haven’t made art because I need my own space to be inspired. I haven’t gone running because it’s cold outside. I haven’t done yoga because I don’t have time. I haven’t pursued photography because I don’t know how to use my camera (that I’ve owned for five years). The list goes on. . .
4. I am going to cancel my gym membership.
Yes, I realize this is entirely the opposite of what most normal people’s new year resolution consists of. But I have spent $20 a month the last eight months to not show up to the gym. I have set my alarm dozens of times in order to make it successfully to my Pi-Yoga class only to hit snooze repetitively while screaming “NOOOOO!!!!” in anger at 4:30a.m.
Enough is enough.
5. I am going to stop being an idiot with my money.
I am a spender. Fact. I’m not sure why, because I did not grow up with money and have worked hard for every penny I have. You would think I would be frugal.
6. I am going to stop being self-deprecating.
I am good at loving others. I am not so good at loving myself. Self-deprecation stops now. Today.
7. I am going to stop sharing dreams with realists.
Realists are dream-killers, let's be honest. I love them, but they are dream killers.
8. I am going to stop writing now. . .because for some reason this all (ironically) seems a bit negative. It was not intended to be… maybe it is day #7 of the flu + cabin fever + winter blues + stuckinthesuburbs setting in. . .